Mall Rats, Playing Nicely and Tom is Mean, Let's Throw Rocks at Him!

See the shirt?  Same one I mentioned in the blog about Ella being distracted by her Disney Princess t-shirt, and you can tell from the way she's standing...she feels fancy <3

So, we went to the mall the other day to walk around and pick out a birthday card for Tom's cousin.  It was Friday evening, and the mall was absolutely packed with teens.

Who do these little pukes think they are?

They walk around, all cocky and thinking they're bad ass, with this unbelieveable sense of entitlement unlike anything I've ever seen in my life.  And the "gangsta" thing has to STOP.  I don't need to see your boxers, put your hat on straight or take it off, and what the hell is with the groups of girls who huddle together in front of McDonalds, only to speak up if you go around them to get in line, "Excuse me, we're in line!"

Really???  Oh, sorry, it's hard to tell what you're doing when you're standing like herded sheep in your little circle of insecurity.

And, I'm sorry, but you're not "gangsta", you're not "bad ass" if YOUR MOM HAS TO PICK YOU UP!!!

Moving on.

So, the birthday party for Tom's cousin was Saturday, and Ella totally pooped herself out walking around, chasing after her cousin Destiney.  It was really cute: Destiney would open her arms wide and hug Ella and say "Cousin!"

Ella, my tiny little twerp, tried to toddle her way out the door, every time saying, "buh bye!"  It was almost impossible to round up the kids to get them ready to go, they just wanted to keep playing and running around.  Hopefully we'll get Ella and Destiney together again soon.

Yes, I said it: Tom is mean, let's throw rocks at him.

I was playing with Ella and her Mega Bloks tonight.  I took all the smallest blocks and made a long pole, which broke in half (they don't stay together as perfectly as Legos do), and the broken off part hit Ella's back (not hard) because she was trying to climb into my lap to grab my blocks anyway.  So, Tom decided to be "funny" and tell me I was abusing her with her own blocks, and that he hoped Ella could remember how to walk, and say certain words, because the trauma was so great.

Tom's mean.

I will take comedian Tom Cotter's advice: tonight, I will fill balloons with water and put them in the freezer.  Tomorrow, I will challenge Tom (the mean husband) to a water balloon fight.  Once he realizes he's bleeding from the ears, I will be the WINNER!

Muahahaha.

Crashing Through a Milestone and a Parenting Question

My Ella is officially a walker.  Up until now, she'd stand on her own, but when it came to getting from Point A to Point B, she'd drop to her knees and crawl there.  This evening, she held onto the edge of her playpen, made it to the coffeetable, then I picked up one of her pacifier straps and dangled it about 2-3 feet out of reach - and she took 2-3 wobbly steps, grabbed the strap and collapsed on me in a fit of giggles.

I nearly burst into tears.

I scooted backwards a few more feet on the floor, and Tom dangled another strap just out of her reach.  She stretched out her little arm, took a couple more steps this time, and collasped on Tom.  We kept this up for about 15 minutes or so, widening the gap between us each time.

A half-hour later, she was walking from our living room, through the kitchen, and down the hall to the bathroom, completely unassisted.  Then she went into the bathroom, where Tom was...indisposed...she knocked down all of the washcloths and wobbled over to Tom, giggling wildly.

I'm so, so, so proud of my baby.

Now, my question.  Well, really, I'm just looking for opinions from parents, but everyone is welcome to chip in their two cents.  It's something I used to think I had a solid opinion about, but now that I have a child, my opinion has completely changed.

My question: how do you feel about those backpack/harness "baby leashes"?

We didn't buy it ourselves, but when I was pregnant, a friend of Tom's mother gave us a ton of baby stuff, and included was a puppy backpack with a harness/clip thing in the front, with the puppy's tail as the leash.  My first opinion was, "Oh my God, who would do that to a child?  How humiliating!"

Now that my baby is mobile, and seems to be determined to stay that way, and coming up at a summer full of trips to amusement parks, I am thinking differently.

With the world the way it is now, I really think it would make more sense to put Ella in the harness.  I don't want to spend hours upon hours looking for my sweet, innocent baby in an amusement park because she wandered off - or worse.  It makes sense to keep her attached to us, but still allow her a little bit of freedom and protection.

Am I completely off base?  I would love to hear what everyone has to say.

New Endeavors, How to Punish Your Monkey and Finding Loopholes

I cut Ella's bangs:

That was my new endeavor for the week.  At least, I hope that's the only new endeavor I attempt for a while.  It was completely nerve-wracking.  First, she's my baby, and she's beautiful and gorgeous and perfect, and I was terrified of cutting her bangs the wrong way and ruining her.  As you can see, as long as her bangs are parted to the side, it doesn't look so bad.  I tried to wear them straight down on her forehead, and they don't look too bad, either, but you can see how horribly uneven I cut them.  Secondly, she's so darn wiggly!  I had to strap her into her high chair so I didn't have to worry about having to hold her with one hand and cut with the other, or, less ridiculously, having Tom hold her, wiggling around in his arms.

Okay, moving on, deep breaths, everyone!

So, a friend of ours recently treated us to a fun-filled evening at Chuck E. Cheese ("Where a Kid can be a Kid" and every adult dies a little inside).  Anyhow, prior to this, Ella had become slightly attached to this cute, fuzzy, purple monkey, so, of course, the monkey had to come to Chuck E. Cheese with us.  While at our table, Ella dropped the monkey on the floor.  Our friend then picked it up and said,

"Ella, he's a bad monkey, he fell on the ground!  Spank the monkey, Ella!  Spank the monkey!"

Her six year old son, no longer transfixed by the glitter and noise of the various games, whipped around saying, "I wanna spank the monkey, Mommy!  I wanna spank the monkey!"

Our friend looked at me and said, "This is going in your blog, isn't it?"

Yeah.

You know those toys that have the shaped holes in them?  The child takes the colored, shaped blocks and fit them through the corresponding holes, right?  Well, Ella has three different versions on this toy: my Mom got her the first one, a castle, that has 8 shaped openings, but the castle itself opens on a hinge, and also has a "drawbridge" door-type opening.  The second version, given to Ella on her first birthday, is a purple mailbox with Elmo attached, has 5 shaped openings, and one "mail slot" in the mailbox door for the two plastic "letters".  The third toy, given to Ella by Tom's Mom, is a ball that opens into halves, and has 12 shaped-openings.

My point is, the child is supposed to learn "spatial coordination" or whatever, by playing with these toys.  Ella, however, has learned to employ loopholes.

Castle: Ella opens the "drawbridge" door and puts shapes in, takes shapes out, and occasionally, I'll find pieces of food, dolls, Little People cars and small books.

Elmo Mailbox: obviously, she opens the mailbox door.  Once, she put in her sippy cup, closed the door, and put up the flag for the mailman.

Ball: pretty simple, she figured out how to open the ball into halves...which she then takes one half and puts on her head.

Again, I'm SO glad she has Tom's sense of humor.

Lil Ketchup Dipper, Chica and a Question for My Readers who are Parents

I think I've talked about this before, but now there's more to say: Ella has a ketchup-dipping problem.

We went to Five Guys, and again, she recognized the red stuff in the small plastic cups.  "Eh!  Eh!  Eh!" she whined, holding out her fry.  Tom attempted to take the fry from her tiny fingers.

"Eh!"  she retracted her hand from his grasp.

Tom looked at me.  "I think she wants to do it herself!"

I shrugged.  "Go ahead and let her try, but YOU are the one cleaning the ketchup off her fingers!"

Tom extended the ketchup cup toward Ella.  She gingerly took her fry and dipped it into the cup, then put the red-tipped fry into her mouth, sucked off the ketchup and reached her fry out for more.

Curious and amused, Tom allowed her access to the cup again.  Experiencing this new freedom, Ella began bouncing in the high chair...a bit too much.  Her whole fist went into the cup.  But my clever little kid didn't miss a beat - she snatched up a fry in her clean hand, holding it toward the ketchup cup, "Eh!  Eh!  Eh!"

I've also realized that she does the whole "Eh!  Eh!  Eh!" thing while pointing at the trash can.  But, I guess I'll have to pick those battles on my own :)

Ella is crazy, crazy, crazy about Chica.  For those of you who don't know who Chica is, she is a puppet "co-host" of The Sunny Side Up Show on PBS Sprout.  Chica is a chicken puppet, she's orange, she has big, round eyes, instead of talking, she makes a squeaking sound, and Ella LOVES her.  So, every morning, from 9-12, we watch the Sunny Side Up Show so Ella can watch the snippets of Chica between cartoons and other educational programming.

What confuses me, though, is occasionally, they will also have Chica's Mom on the show.  Chica's Mom looks like Chica, except she's brown.  Also, she can say random words and phrases in between clucking sounds.  For example: when asked what types of exercises she liked to do,  Chica's Mom replied, "Bock bock, yoga!  Bock bock pilates!  Bock bock dancing!"

I think the perfect program for Ella to watch would have Chica, non-stop for, like eight hours, also featuring Barney, and together, Chica and Barney would teach the "Your Baby Can Read" programs.  That would be helpful.

I have the first installment of the "Your Baby Can Read" series, but it's so hard to find time to fit it in during the day, especially when we're out and about for most of the day.  I don't want her to miss any Chica, because it puts her in a great mood (until 11am, when she's ready for a nap), but I really want her to learn to read and comprehend.

Up until now, I thought writing a book would be the hardest thing to do...parenting SO trumps that!!!

Also, I don't know if it's a nation-wide commercial, or only here in PA, but Ella is obsessed with that Berger and Green lawyer commercial, but only the one with the little bald guy.  Every time it comes on TV, she just stares at it, mesmerized.

I love my little weirdo.

Okay, now I have a question for my readers who are parents: how do you get a toddler to eat when they push food away, throw it on the floor, or throw a tantrum when you try to feed them?  The only thing Ella would eat the other night was saltine crackers.  She also will eat French fries, but, I can't give her meals of only saltines and fries!!!  She's even throwing nuh-nana's on the floor, and they were her favorite!!

Suggestions are sincerely hoped for!!!

Straying from the Norm

Well, I decided I would take a break from writing about my kid for a change, and talk a little about myself, and how this blog came to be.

I'll try to not be upset during the blackout, as you all turn off your computers and read a book instead...still with me?  How kind of you.

Let me start by saying: pregnancy threw me for a loop.  I read that pregnancy affects women in many, many different ways.  For me, it totally affected my want to read and write.  I had zero creativity, no real desire to produce anything (other than a child in my womb, ha ha).  On rare occasions, I would get an inkling of an idea for a book, and I did keep a notebook around in case I felt like writing something down.  But, like I said, rare.

Even after I had Ella, I still didn't want to read anything other than parenting/baby books.  I didn't want to write anything other than milestones in Ella's baby book.  I strongly felt that attention paid anywhere else meant that I was neglecting my baby.

About 3 or 4 months ago, I started getting more and more writing ideas, almost on a daily basis.  I found myself writing them down, and some ideas even got fleshed out a bit.  However, I still could not bring myself to write any more than rough outlines.  Characters weren't quite coming to me.

But, I also realized that it felt good to do something I once loved, and I realized that , as Ella was getting a bit older, she didn't need as much of my constant attention.  She was starting to get into playing with her toys for more extended periods of time, allowing me some short stretches where writing, or reading the newspaper, or articles in writing magazines could squeeze in.

I was starting to feel like myself again.  Or, rather, a new Mom-version of myself.  It was liberating.

So, last month, I decided that I needed to give myself the final push to really write something again.  I went through my notes, but couldn't figure out which story idea to work on.

I thought back to a class I took in college, where I kept a blog as part of an extra credit project.  I really liked the idea of blogging without assigned topics.  Then, my Mom suggested writing a blog about Ella and being a new mom.

Who knew mothers were always right?  When do I get to always be right?

Oh, wait.  I already am.  :)

Miracle Book and the Elmo Crush

Originally Written: Monday, January 31, 2011

So, we came across this book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers", written by Elizabeth Pantley.  It's supposed to help parents deal with all types of sleeping issues for children aged 1-6.  I'm not very far into the book yet, but so far, Ms. Pantley seems to make a lot of sense.

What we have read mostly has to do with ways to make healthy, sleep-inducing changes to Ella's diet.  It says to provide dinner and before-bed snacks that contain foods with tryptophan, such as: tuna, natural peanut butter without sugar (not the hidden kind), cottage cheese, yogurt, eggs, bananas (nuh-nanas!) and the one everyone already knows - turkey.

It also says to eliminate any foods that are high in protein (at bedtime, not altogether!), as they can cause energy bursts: red meat, bacon/pork; as well as foods that stimulate the nervous system: caffeine, chocolate, peppermint, fatty/greasy foods, OJ/citrus juices, butter, MSG, sugar and simple carbs.

Well, there goes our coffee break, darn it!  :)

It makes sense though, and it makes me rethink what I eat and drink before bed, too.  Tom and I need to be Ella's role models, which means we need to improve our habits so she will adopt good habits when she gets older.

And, here I am, it's 10:30pm and I'm eating sugar.  Damn conversation hearts.  Apparently, I'm my own "Soul Mate".  And now they have a heart that says "Tweet Me".  Really???

My baby girl has a crush.  Her crush has a catchy tune:

"La la la la, la la la la, Elmo's World!  La la la la, la la la la, Elmo's World!"

It's pretty bad when I can sing the rest of the song in my head...every damn word.

Ella hands me her Sesame Street board books, and when I foolishly try to read them to her, she screams, "Ehmo!  Ehmo!"

She wants only to see the pages with Elmo on them.  She couldn't care less about the rest of the book.  Although, I am very proud of her, because when I ask her where certain characters are on the page, she points to them correctly almost every time.

This child will literally hurl books at me, "Ehmo!  Ehmo!"  And if I don't pick up the book immediately, she will scream "Ehmo!" until I pick the book up and locate Elmo.  Her arms are like tiny rocket launchers, I swear.  Once Elmo has been found, she smiles her flirty smile and shies away from the book.

I love my kid.

Sleep Strategies and "We're Getting Old!"

Originally Written: Sunday, January 30, 2011

So, I took Saturday off for some much-needed rest.  Needless to say, Ella is still not sleeping well.  Tom and I have looked into some other possible ideas to help her sleep.

We did try to leave her bedroom light on - no luck.  She woke up, Tom turned her light on, got her back to sleep, and a half-hour later, she was up screaming bloody murder with the light on.

I did some research into baby medications.  Tom made the joke that if he invented a baby sleeping pill, he'd be the richest man on Earth.  He's probably right.

Then, I'd be the happiest wife on Earth...money AND a sleeping baby!  :)

I was watching one of those doctor shows on TV; not sure if it was Dr. Oz or The Doctors, but they were talking about people with sleeping disorders, and said the first thing you should do is look into what medications the person is taking.  Well, right now, the only "prescription" Ella is on is the multivitamin drops.  I found the listing in my Pill Book, and it didn't say anything about sleep disruptions, but it did mention nausea and irritability.

Then we wondered if what we were feeding her was causing stomach upset at bedtime.  We've been trying to transition Ella from stage 3's (and 4's, in some cases) to regular food.  I also realized we've been giving her a lot of cheese, and that can sometimes cause stomach upset, especially if she were to be lactose intolerant (we haven't had any inklings before).

We looked into Ella's bedtime routine.  We haven't been the most consistent with bedtimes; we started trying around 7:30pm, when she would first start acting tired.  Then, we steadily increased it, 8pm, 8:30pm, 9pm.  Then, we had the crib mattress lowered all the way, it took a while getting used to have to raise and lower the side.

After the first night in the newly-lowered crib, she started having problems sleeping all night.  She could sleep perfectly fine in her playpen when we'd travel or stay at a friend's, and the playpen is even lower than the crib mattress (and less comfortable, I would imagine).

My point is, we've never had a really structured bedtime routine, and maybe that's the real issue.  Maybe we should start with a set time for her to start calming down.  Maybe we should adjust the foods and drinks we allow her for dinner and before bed.

It's worth a shot.

"We're Getting Old!"  This is what Tom said to me a few days ago.  He said this because we've both taken a liking to watching PBS Specials.  We talk about them with the same amount of enthusiasm that we talk about going on a vacation, or getting Christmas presents.

We get excited when we talk about living in the Goose House in Connecticut, or going to the milk bottle ice cream shop in Massachusetts.  We get mutually disgusted when we relive the "Sandwiches You'll Like" moment when the lady eats the "brain sandwich".

And now, there's an ice cream special.  Those of you who know me well enough, know that I love ice cream.  If ice cream was a person, I would do dirty things to it, and not feel guilty the next morning.

Anyway, the special is a tad dated, because when they talk about Ben & Jerry's, they show all sorts of Rainforest Crunch merchandise, and that flavor hasn't been around since I was in, like, 8th grade (unfortunately; it was a good one!).

Also worth mentioning: there's a seasonal ice cream shop in Cape Cod, and when an attractive woman walks in, the male employees made up a code, "Check the Vanilla", so they'll all know to look.  Likewise, the female employees made up a code for cute guys..."Check the Banana" :)

And, to top off our premature aging, I went and signed up to win tickets to *drumroll please*

ANTIQUES ROADSHOW!

I used to make fun of this show, and now I want tickets???  How old am I?

Oh, just pass the Metamucil and change the channel to PBS, will ya?

Sleepless in PA

Originally Written: Friday, January 28, 2011

Ella is still not sleeping.  It's as though from the time she falls asleep, until about 2am, she thinks it's just a really long nap.  Then, she's usually up until 4:30 or 5am, sometimes later.  Then, once she's down, she's out until about 9 or 10am.

We have tried everything we can think of.  A friend recently suggested we try leaving her bedroom light on, since she will only sleep soundly when it's light out.  I think we're going to try it, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work.  We tried a nightlight, and it just seemed to keep her up longer.

I read somewhere that kids her age need about 10-12 hours of sleep per night.  Ella's averaging about 6-8 hours per night.  I sincerely hope it doesn't harm her in any way, and it keeps me up worrying that I'm not doing something right.

Ella really baffles us.  It'll be getting close to bedtime, and she'll be in her playpen.  She'll pull herself up to a standing position and start rubbing her eyes, and playing with her hair.  So, like any good parents, we take her sleepytime cues and go through our nightly bedtime routine; check her diaper, give her a sippy cup of milk, put on clean pajamas, get her binky.

It's when we go to wrap her up in her blanket that she has a sudden burst of energy.  I know what you're thinking: "She's too old to be wrapped up!  That's why she's not sleeping!  Problem solved!"

Problem NOT solved.  Wrapping her up is the only way to get her to fall asleep.  She will not sleep unwrapped.  If we attempt to put her in her crib unwrapped, she lets her body go limp and then jerks herself wide awake before she hits the mattress.

The only thing that seems to have changed from when she was sleeping relatively soundly to now is that we lowered her crib mattress to its lowest position.  Otherwise, obviously, she could fall out when she stands up.  That's the only thing that's different.  Seriously.  When her mattress was at it's mid-lowest level, she was sleeping perfectly (save for the ear infections/strep that kept her awake, but that's different).  I'm half tempted to try raising the mattress again, just to that mid-lowest level, to see if it has any effect on Ella's sleeping.  But, in the same vein, I don't want to risk her being able to climb/fall out of her crib.

So, for now, I'll just wait.  Still open to any and all suggestions.

Ella, the Adventurous Eater!

Guess who likes pizza?

Ella!

We've created a monster!

Today started out well.  I've moved on from the heartbreaking cheese omelet incident, and warily tried peanut butter toast (yes, I've located the good peanut butter).  I made two toasts, just in case she was hungry enough.  I cut the crusts off, and cut the toasts into little squares.

Bracing myself for armageddon, I placed a toast square on her high chair tray.  She eyeballed it, then looked at me, as if asking me what to do with it.

I took a square and ate it.  Message received, my tiny squidlet.

Ella grasped the square between thumb and forefinger.  Toasty success!

She ate close to all of both toasts, minus the square I ate as an example, she threw two squares on the floor, and there were two left on the plate.

The other day, Tom and I made french fries with our dinner.  We always give Ella a few fries, so, I cut off the hard or sharp ends to a handful of fries and put them on her tray. 

A few minutes later, I notice Ella stretching and straining to see my plate.  I followed her gaze...to my ketchup.

"Eh!  Eh!  Eh!"  Ella tried to reach her fry into my ketchup.

Tom raised an eyebrow.  "Why don't you put a little on her fry?  It could be an interesting reaction!"

I shrugged.  I took Ella's fry, dipped the tip into the ketchup, and handed her back the fry.

She eyeballed it, then smiled, recognizing the red stuff.  She put it in her mouth, sucked the ketchup off the tip, and handed the fry back to me, motioning for me to put more ketchup on it.  What a little ham!

On top of all this, she's still not sleeping through the night.  Last night was another rough one.  She was up around 2am, down by 3:30, back up at 4, didn't go back down until around 5:30am.

We're running out of ideas; we've tried a bath and bedtime lotion, we've tried covering the heat vents in her room, we've tried giving her cereal before bed.  She's not currently sick or congested, that we know of.  If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to comment.  Any suggestions are welcome!!!

The Sheer Joy of a Baby Who Doesn't Want to Sleep, Eat, Play or Be Held

I love my adorable daughter.

Let me rephrase.

I love my adorable, but difficult daughter.

Sleep still remains an unattainable goal for Ella.  She falls asleep, we put her in her crib, and she's fine until around 12:30 or 1am.  Then, she's up, screaming, until well after 4am.  Sometimes later.

A few people have told us to give her a little bit of cereal before putting her to bed, because it might help her sleep better.  We thought it would be a good idea, so we tried it.

The first night: success!  She slept all night!  So did we!  Hooray!  The curse is broken!

The second night: epic fail.  She woke up around 12:30am, didn't go back down til somewhere after 4:30am.

Last night wasn't too bad.  I decided to try without the cereal.  She went down easier than usual.  She woke up around 2am, but safely out again by 3:30am.  Just an hour and a half.  Not bad.  AND she slept til 9am.  To me, any morning she sleeps til 9am is W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L.

We're trying to get her down right now, well, Tom is.  I'm in the living room blogging and watching Jerry Springer's dating show, Baggage.  For those of you who haven't heard of this, I know what you're thinking: "Jerry Springer hosting a dating show?  YES!  Where are my tap shoes?!?!"  (Side note: this one chick is crazy - she eats 3 boxes of chalk a day!  What the?!?!?  Where does Jerry find these people???)

So, today Ella was particularly difficult.  She didn't want to eat or play.  This kid always wants to eat!  As soon as she woke up, "Nuh-nana, nuh-nana!" was all she said.  I wanted to give her a break from the norm (oatmeal or rice cereal, mashed up fruit and milk) and decided to make her a cheese omelet.

One bite.  She took one bite, then looked at me with a look on her face that said, "Why are you doing this to me?"  It broke my heart.

I ate the omelet.

"Nuh-nana!"

"Okay, baby, Mommy will get you a banana."  I peeled her a banana, sliced it up and put some on her high chair tray.

She ate about half, then the rest was sent to the floor.  That's been our cue that she's not hungry anymore.

Well, I can't really say that she didn't want to play, because she played for a long time in her playpen, actually.  I love to watch her when she's playing with her Elmo phone, real cell phone (minus the battery) and her yellow phone that sings songs.  It's like she's her own little call center.

It wasn't until after her nap when she decided she didn't want to play anymore.  She stood up in her playpen, she reached for me and Tom, she hurled toys at us.  And let's not forget the super fun trail of endless screaming!

So, then I picked her up out of her pen and attempted to hold her for a while.  That was a challenge.  She's going through a "phase" (I think) where she wants to be flipped upside down all the time.  I swear she's going to be a gymnast because I'm pretty sure she'd rather be upside down than right-side-up most of the time.  And, when I've got her upside down, I need to remember to watch where her feet are; she likes to kick!

(Side note: OMG, watching the end of "Baggage", the guy's baggage is that he impregnated 9 women!  Holy crap!  JERRY!  JERRY!  JERRY!)

Anywho, so, when I tried to get her to stop flipping around like a tiny tree monkey, I tried to work with her on more words.  (She can say "yummy" now, very cute!)  Every word I said, she shook her little head, eyes tinkling with glee, tiny tooth-budded smile.  She's doing the head-shaking thing with alarming frequency now, even more than that one blog I posted, if you can believe it.

I'm reminded of an episode of "Friends" where Carol and Susan go to pick up little Ben from Ross' apartment, and they ask Ross how he was doing.

Ross: I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said 'no'.  I asked if he wanted to sleep, he said 'no'.  I asked him what he wanted to do, he said 'no', so he's sweeping.

Cut to a shot of little Ben sweeping Ross' floor with a tiny yellow and red broom.

That's SO going to be Ella.  If only she'd stand on her own longer than 10 seconds.

*sigh*  I love my adorable daughter.

To a 13-Month-Old, Everything is a Telephone

Weebles are not little, hard plastic, weighted oval people.  Little People are not little, hard plastic, stereotypical toy people.

A rubber duckie is not a bath toy.

Everything is a telephone.  Even the palms of her tiny little hands.

Ella puts just about everything to her left ear and says, "Eroo?"  Then, she hands the random toy out to me or Tom, because, apparently the person on the other end of the Elmo doll's butt, is asking to speak with us.  The caller on the other end of the Cabbage Patch doll's face wants nothing to do with her, but has some information that Tom and I need to hear...supposedly.

She does this with all of her toys, except, ironically, toy phones.  We recently found our old cell phone, and gave it to her to play with, in hopes that she wouldn't want to play with our current cell phone as much. 

Nope.  Ella only wants what we have.

And cucumbers are bananas, especially when not fully ripe.  In fact, anything on our kitchen table has become a banana.  I took a grapefruit from the fruitbowl on the table.

"Nuh-nana."  Ella pointed at the grapefruit.

"No, baby, this is a grapefruit.  Mommy's going to have a grapefruit."

She shakes her head, smiling. "Nuh-nana!"

"No, honey, grapefruit.  Mommy will give you a banana after lunch today, okay?"

Ella shakes her head, reaching for the grapefruit.  "Eh!  Eh!"

"Here, then.  Play with Mommy's grapefruit."  I put it on her high chair tray.

Smiling, she bites into the thick peel.  She stops smiling.

"Wasn't a banana, was it?"

Ella looks at me, confused.  She hefts the grapefruit up to her left ear.  "Eroo?"

Mommy Loves You, Damn It!

I absolutely love it that Ella is starting to say a few words now.  It seems like she's saying something new almost every day.  Here's a quick run-down of what she's been saying:

Nuh-nana - banana
Iss - this
At - that
Buh-buh - bye bye
Mummy/Mum Mum Mum - Mommy
Dah/Dada - Daddy
Aaah, Pooh - Hi Pooh
Ahpoo - apple (we think, not sure)
No

Let's talk about that last one, shall we?

Ella CAN say no (usually when we least expect it), but, more often than not, she will shake her head rapidly from side to side, with a huge grin on her face and her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Ella, do you want another bite of cereal?"  *shakes head*

"How about tomorrow?"  *shakes head*

"How about on Valentine's Day?"  Nothing.

"Okay, Mommy will save your last bite of cereal until then, Sweetie."

(Obviously, I'm not saving one bite of cereal until Valentine's Day.)

See, this little back-and-forth happens a lot.  But, this is cute, and not frustrating.

"Ella, Mommy loves you."  *shakes head*

"Yes, she does."  *shakes head*

"Ella, yes she does!"  *shakes head, giggling*

"Ella, Mommy loves you, whether you like it or not, damn it!"

At this point, she's giggling so wildly she's almost falling down in her playpen, or, in some cases, stretching herself backwards in my arms, almost falling out.

I love my baby more than anything, but why, oh why did she get her father's sense of humor???

Two Quick Thank Yous and Competitive Parents

Okay, so just a quick "thank you" to the big brains behind Disney/Sargento's "Fun Cheese Shapes".  Ella loves cheese, and up until now, I've been giving her shredded cheese, but it makes a huge mess.  The cheese shapes are fun and not messy, and you get to eat Mickey's head every time!  So, again, "thanks" to the creators of this awesome product; I no longer have to clean slightly melted globs of shredded cheese out of the crevices of Ella's pajama legs :)

Also, another quick "thanks" to the Heluva Good company for making the White Cheddar & Bacon dip.  I'm currently in chip 'n dip heaven!

It's amazing how competitive parents can be.  I don't consider myself to be a competitive parent, because, kids develop and grow on their own timeline, and you can't force them otherwise.

But, to force your child, who only has two visible teeth, to eat something she clearly shouldn't be eating, just to make yourself look like the better parent - um...NO.

We were at Walmart the other day, and we stopped into McDonalds for a quick snack before grocery shopping.  Tom, Ella and I like to share the chicken nuggets, and, yes, I know I shouldn't be giving her McDonalds food at her age, she's too young, and it's not the healthiest.  We don't do it a lot, and we also take the breading off of the nuggets so she just eats the chicken.  Moving on.

So, this woman and her two kids is sitting across from us, watching us give Ella nuggets.  At first, I thought, "Oh, great, she's going to chastize us for giving our baby junk".  Then, I see her give her baby girl (who was clearly much younger than Ella) a Chicken Select.  A freaking Chicken Select.  The thing was almost bigger than the kid's head, she had to hold it with both hands, and couldn't open her mouth wide enough to even attempt to eat it.  I was watching this poor, sweet little baby (who we later found out was only 7 months old), as she drooled all over the Select, and finally, in a last-ditch attempt to hold it with one hand, drop it on the floor.

The mother sighed audibly in disgust, picked the Select up off the floor, put it on her tray, and gave the baby a fry.  She stopped trying to make antagonizing eye contact with me after that.

Meanwhile, Ella was just as happy as a clam, holding a nugget in one hand, a fry in the other, bouncing in her seat and giggling away. 

Seeing the other baby, Ella held out her nugget and said, "Nuh-nana?"

Baby Scream Radar and a Disney Princess T-Shirt

Last night, while I was cooking dinner, and the husband, Tom, was watching TV, Ella took it upon herself to let out a continuous stream of blood-curdling screams.  No idea why.  Just being generous, I guess.

I've noticed that she does this whenever we want to watch something we like on TV, or if we're trying to listen to something important on the news.  Or if we're trying to speak to each other.  Or think.

It's like Baby Scream Radar: "Ooooh!  Mommy and Daddy are doing that talking thing!  It needs to stop!  Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreach!!!!"  "Mommy put that show on TV again!  And it's not Elmo!  Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrreach!"

That would make one hell of a burglar alarm.  A baby scream alarm would ward off anyone; neighbors, childless couples...single male friends.  As if that glorious stench of baby (ie: sour milk and poop) wouldn't deter them upon opening your door in the first place.

Then again, this morning, I could tell she was getting into naptime mode when she stood up in her playpen, watching me, and whining.  That's usually code for "Mommy, pick me up, get my blankie and my binky, it's time to snooze!!!"

Today was slightly different.  I gave her a sippy cup of milk while she was in her playpen.  Mistake.

Now, most of her toys have a lovely white sheen, and her board book pages are stuck together.  She left the sippy cup upside down in a corner of the pen, the nipple bent at an angle allowing the milk to puddle.

Then I noticed her butt was wet.  And both of the feet of her pajamas.  And I had already changed her pajamas once since she'd been awake.

I put her in an outfit consisting of a blue Disney Princess t-shirt and pink leggings and placed her back into the playpen.  After 10 minutes of silence (and the ability to watch a full segment on the Rachael Ray show), I became concerned.

I peeked into the pen, and there was Ella holding the bottom hem of her t-shirt stretched out in front of her, as she checked out the three Disney Princesses, Tiana, Aurora and Cinderella.

Had she been doing this the whole time? 

To quote Gru from Despicable Me: "Lightbulb!!!"

Maybe if I throw a Disney Princess shirt on her everytime she gets into scream mode, she'll be distracted to the point of NOT SCREAMING.  And maybe, I'll have an element of sanity back.

And maybe, Tom and I can have a full converstation!

Hmm...let me rethink that one...

I Can't Stay Mad...

Last night was rough.  And that's an understatement.

Ella refused to fall asleep until almost 11pm.  She woke up around 12:30am.  Didn't fall back to sleep until after 4am.  Was up again at 5:50am.  Slept in my husband's arms until about 8:45am, then she and I were up and playing in the living room.

At these difficult times, it would really be a Godsend if she could form a full sentence, other than "Hi, Pooh!"  Or, at least two or three words that would tell us what's going on, like "Bad dream", or "Tummy hurts" or "Don't feel good".

As a parent, you get so frustrated when something is upsetting your child, but it's more upsetting when your child can't even explain their discontent to you.  And you want to be there for them all the time.

But, at 3am...ugh.  I can't stay mad.

I can't stay mad when the first words out of my precious angel's mouth at 9am this morning were, "Mama, nuh-nana!  Nuh-nana!"  Like nothing happened, like she hadn't just seen me less than three hours earlier, screaming in her crib.

I gave her a nuh-nana (banana).  And I looked the other way when she dropped half of it on the floor :)

Finding Love in Food and Bedtime Baby Lotion

Apparently, the adage about how you shouldn't look for love in food doesn't apply to babies, namely, my daughter, Ella.

This morning, though it was too early for her usual bowl of cereal with mashed up fruit and milk, Ella was pointing to the kitchen table and whining.  She started doing this a few weeks ago, when she realized we kept her bananas there, as well as her other baby snack items.  Unfortunately, this morning, we were completely out of bananas, but Ella spotted something else: banana cookies.  And she knows the box all too well.

Banana cookies, for those of you who have not yet experienced these things, are hard, crusty, crescent-shaped teething cookies flavored with banana puree.  Ella knows she can't have a cookie without being in her high chair.  So, the dance of "cookie love" begins.

I place the high chair in it's usual spot next to my seat and remove the plastic tray.  Ella's eyes light up, darting from the kitchen table to the trayless chair, her little feet stomping, and body crouched in anticipation.

I lift her out of her playpen, and she drops whatever toy she has now forgotten about.  She giggles wildly and wiggles her little body frantically in my arms as I place her in her chair and attach the tray.  Ella now has one focus: cookies!

She watches as I take a cookie out of the package and hand it to her.  She runs her beautiful baby blues across the cookie as if it were a gift from the Lord Himself.  She then looks at me, the Cookie Giver, as though I have just bestowed upon her the greatest treasure in all the land.

The cookie is gone in approximately 3 minutes.

The dance begins again about an hour later, when, moving on from the banana cookies, Ella spots the saltines.  Then, we break out the juice.

Okay, bedtime baby lotion.  Seriously.  I love the product, I really do.  It smells nice, and it really does help Ella to stay asleep longer (if 6:55am is "longer", I have no idea).  But, they should really consider refilming the commercial with a 13-month-old.

The sweet little infant would be replaced with a much bigger, and much, MUCH more mobile child, squirming and spinning out of your grasp, while you attempt to pin her to her changing table with one arm and desperately to open the lotion bottle with slippery, yet pleasantly-scented fingers.

Forty-five minutes later, the loving parent is pissed off and sweaty, holding a child who is so greased up with lotion that she has now slipped out of her pajamas and is chewing on the cap of the lotion bottle and making "yucky" faces because...clearly the lotion isn't meant to be ingested.

Just a suggestion :)

Sippy Cups, Baby Poop and Hidden Peanut Butter

Hello Everyone - Welcome to my New Blog!

I figured I would explain my Blog Title in my first post to clarify things a bit.

Sippy cups.  A big part of any parent of a 13-month-old.  We've gone through several; the most recent being a 3-stage "transitional" sippy cup, starting with a regular nipple, moving to a straw-like nipple device, and ending with your rubber sippy cup top.  All past sippy cup experiences have leaked, or been lost along the way, or thrown out because we cut a wider opening in the top to allow rice cereal through.

And, it would figure: as soon as she got used to this new one, now she's getting teeth.  The cycle of sippy cups is never-ending.

Baby poop.  We deal with a lot of it.  Right now, she's getting over a double ear infection, and she's on augmentin.  The medicine gives her massive diarrhea.

Now, I haven't been like those "movie moms" who unknowingly wipe the poop on their cheeks and foreheads, then have a great big laugh about it.  I've been fortunate enough to only get it on my thumb.  And knuckles.  And shirt.  Okay, more than one shirt.  And the couch.  Twice.  You'd really think I would have learned not to change her on the couch by now.  And I can't find the Febreeze :(

Hidden Peanut Butter.  I have a husband (that alone should be enough explanation).  He uses things, then, I swear to God, he hides them on me.  I knew we had good peanut butter, and I went to use it, and it was gone.  Then, suspiciously, I find the thick, rounded paper cover to the peanut butter jar left haphazardly on the counter in ripped up pieces.  Again, no jar.  This morning, I have located the peanut butter, and am hoping to enjoy it on an English muffin at some point today.

I wonder if he knows where the Febreeze is?